Don't Put on the Breaks

Don't Put on the Breaks

On Monday I had the opportunity to guest lecture for the leadership class at The Ohio State University ATI. Knowing the students were all female, I based my lecture on content from the book Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg.

If I could go back and tell eighteen-year-old Nicole anything, I'd make sure to tell her to not make decisions too far in advance, particularly ones you’re not even conscious you’re making.

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Sheryl Sandberg discusses this thought in her book and encourages women to "not leave before you're leave."

But what does this mean? It means to not leave your job before you actually need to leave it. Hold your breath and if you are willing to have a baby or planning it, keep your foot on the gas pedal until your decision must be made. Do not slow down. Anyone lucky enough to have options should keep them open. Don’t enter the workforce already looking for the exit. Don’t put on the brakes.

(Or if you're eighteen-year-old Nicole, don't pick a career path or major based on what would be the easier "mom job.")

Why is this important?

Here's the example from Sandberg's TED Talk:

"From the moment she starts thinking about having a child, she starts thinking about making room for that child. “How am I going to fit this into everything else I’m doing?” And literally from that moment, she doesn’t raise her hand anymore, she doesn’t look for a promotion, she doesn’t take on the new project, she doesn’t say, “Me, I want to do that.”

She starts leaning back.

The problem is that, let’s say she got pregnant that day, that day. Nine months of pregnancy, three months of maternity leave, six months to catch your breath. Fast-forward two years, more often–and as I’ve seen it–women start thinking about this way earlier–when they get engaged and when they get married and when they start thinking about trying to have a child, which can take a long time.

One woman came to see me about this, and I kind of looked at her–she looked a little young. And I said, “So are you and your husband thinking about having a baby?” And she said, “Oh no, I’m not married.” She didn’t even have a boyfriend. I said, “You’re thinking about this just way too early.”

But the point is that what happens once you start kind of quietly leaning back? Everyone who’s been through this, and I’m here to tell you, once you have a child at home, your job better be really good to go back, because it’s hard to leave that kid at home. Your job needs to be challenging. It needs to be rewarding.

You need to feel like you’re making a difference.

And if two years ago you didn’t take a promotion and some guy next to you did, if three years ago you stopped looking for new opportunities, you’re going to be bored, because you should have kept your foot on the gas pedal. Don’t leave before you leave. Stay in. Keep your foot on the gas pedal, until the very day you need to leave to take a break for a child, and then make your decisions."

This is just one of the five main points I covered in the lecture. I'll be writing more thoughts on this topic later.

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Leadership is HARD

Leadership is HARD

Enjoy the Grit

Enjoy the Grit